TCC + HSG

For those who know me know my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for some time now. We are not too aggressive on the trying but have done some test even surgery. I really don't want to take drugs as I feel that path is the right path for me.

Lets rewind a little bit on the parts that I have tried with dr help to get preggers.

Last year about this time I had a test done call the HSG - My friend warned me that it's painful.  Mentally i thought i was prepared... Boy was I wrong... it was the longest 10 minutes of my life. It was so long ago I don't remember the pain it self but I do remember the nurses telling me I got to breath or something almost passed out on the table.  My friend it was it was painful and warned me and it was still 2000X times worse then what I had ever thought possible.  The other side my other friend said she didn't feel a  thing .. I'm not sure we had the same test.

From my understanding this test opens your cervix for the balloon and dye injection to check your tubes.  A lot of people complain about the dye and how it hurts. I didn't feel that i felt my cervix my poor tiny cervix expand and that's not a good feelings (i suppose it would if i were to pop out a baby... lol )

Well I told my husband I'll never ever do that again ... guess what .. I get to schedule the thing i said i'd never do again. It's a follow up to my surgery the dr said.  My eyes wide open really.. can i take every drug in the book prior to going. I don't want to do this test. Well i have to get it done in the next 2 months or so.

I really don't want to i'm stressed right now just thinking about this fucking test. i don't even have  date planned for it. I really want to run away and hide from this test. I hate it, it's painful and i don't want to do it again. nope. not one bit.  I just really really truely hope this cycle worked so i can forgo this test.

So i'm asking anyone above below hell i don't care who or where just let me be preggers. I will be in the wild woods during my time AF should show.. I hope i just get sick all day long instead i'll take that over having something being shoved up my cervix again.  So i just found this out today. so i'm freaking a bit.
I don't want to do this fucking painful test.
I'm scared.
I need all this baby dust in the world i want to breath it, taste it poop that shit. give it to me!
lol